This is, of course, after my husband and I spent a smaller yet still significant amount of time picking up toys.
We have way too many toys.
There are many reasons why we suffer from toy gluttony. Here are a few I thought of while spending my Saturday evening picking through innumerable small, cheap plastic things. (Most of which are pink, purple, blue and sparkly.)
1. For all of our children's lives up until last summer, we were a dual income family. Buying toys at Target on the weekend is what we did for fun. We went on Target benders all the time.
2. Gift-giving is one of my unofficial love languages. You know I love you if I give you a gift.
3. Gift-receiving is one of Leah's official love languages. She adores presents.
4. For all of our children's lives up until last summer, I felt very, very guilty for being a workaholic mom - so I would attempt to assuage said guilt by relying on points number 2 and 3 to express my love to Leah. It didn't always work so well with Susie - she would rather that I take her to the park and push her on the swings ad nauseum, which given the delicate state of her equilibrium, was usually a literal event. (Translation: Push me on the swings until I puke, mom. I mean it.)
5. I don't like to throw anything away. Neither does Bill. Or Leah. The verdict is still out on Susie.
6. Our girls are the only grandchildren/nieces on Bill's side of the family, and he has three adult sibs who make plenty of money and spoil our daughters relentlessly. I think Uncle Jon even said once that he's intentionally trying to buy Leah's devotion - hence the reason he bought her a trampoline for her fifth birthday, a Gameboy DS for Christmas, and a whole raft of Schleich animals when she was going through her animal phase. Auntie Jo Jo can't help but spend her extra money on anything and everything the girls desire - including but not limited to taking them to see the circus and hockey games. (Are those two different things?) Aunt Ainz, an Elementary music teacher by profession, actually bought Leah a real guitar for Christmas. And this is not even considering Grandpa and Grammy... it's clear where we all inherited our gift-giving love language from, isn't it? It's a wonder Bill and I have ever felt compelled to buy our children anything.
Now - I am very, very grateful for my children's blessings in life. Nothing makes me happier than being able to buy Susie the Disney Princess doll she wants so bad. I love seeing the delight on Leah's face when she opens a box of Pokemon toys we got off Ebay. This is a real way we speak love to our kids, and it's beautiful. God speaks love to us this way also - every morning he gives us the sunrise again. Every day he gives us beauty to sustain us. And for many people, his children, he even works miracles - I've got several I will write about some day that he's done in my life and through my life just lately.
But...
Gluttony is never a good thing. And gluttony is happily married to addiction.
I think about all the reasons I've spoiled my kids with toys and how entrapped I have been in thinking that they need every little thing they want, and things they don't even know they want, they need. Our society goes out of its way to say "You need this! It will complete you!" no matter what the "this" is... toys, food, lifestyle, companionship, adventure - you name it, we are told we need it.
Does any of it really ever complete us?
One of the things I noticed in my own life when I began walking closely with God again a few years ago was that I began to really hate all the "stuff" in my life. Not my baggage or my sin issues - my literal stuff! I had so much stuff!!!
Our garage was so full of stuff we couldn't park our cars in it. Our basement was so full of stuff we could hardly walk through it to do laundry. Our closets were full of stuff with tags still on that we would never wear. Our kitchen and bathroom was full of cute stuff that I *had* to have - reasons unknown. We had so many books - read once, some not even read at all - that they were really everywhere, with totes and totes of them in storage as well. And then, the toys.
Lord, help me!
I began to see all of this stuff as what it really was - evidence of an addiction. I had spent the last 8 years or so making bank and blowing it all on stuff, trying to appease my aching soul.
Feeling depressed? Old Navy will fix that.
Feeling guilty? Buy someone something pretty.
Feeling jittery? That special smell you smell when you first walk in the door at Target will fix those jitters.
Lord, save me from this.
There is a reason it's all called "stuff". There's too much of it... It doesn't fit... I'm stuffed.
It's taking a lot of time, but slowly we are digging out from underneath the weight of stuff. Few years back I took two full-size Suburban loads of high quality stuff out of our garage and donated it. Finally, after two years of living here, we could park in the garage. Summer before last my sister and I had a garage sale and we made somewhere around $1,500... on stuff. Recently I cleaned out my closet and netted at least 4 large Rubbermaid totes of stuff that I don't wear. Last fall I filled half of my garage with stuff to give away and opened it up to our church. At least 20 different people came by and found stuff they needed out of my excess stuff. Saturday I cleaned and sorted toys and came up with enough stuff for a garage sale that filled my entire dining room. I could go on.
My point in all of this is "Hey, people! You don't have to believe what the world tells you! You don't need all this stuff! It will weigh you down! Make you fat! Let it go!"
A few months back I went to Buy, Buy Baby to pick out a baby shower gift for a friend. The name of that store alone should clue anyone in to it's sinister materialistic nature, but anyway, if you haven't been in one before, it's essentially a Bed, Bath and Beyond store of JUST baby things. Baby things, literally, from floor to ceiling. At least an acre of floor to ceiling merchandise. All saying the same thing: In order to have a baby and be a good parent, you need me!
No!!! You don't!!
Stuff. We're addicted to it. The ability to buy, use and throw away is the sub plot of the American Dream. We do it with things, we do it with people. It's a problem, an addiction, a cycle... and I want out of it.
This - this made me laugh. I read this in Psalm 4 this morning, The Message again -
Why is everyone hungry for more?
"More, more," they say.
"More, more."
I have God's more-than-enough,
More joy in one ordinary day than they get in all their shopping sprees.
At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep,
For you, GOD, have put my life back together.
Amen and Amen. That is my testimony, too. I say with David the Beloved - I have more joy in one ordinary day than they get, or I got, in all my shopping sprees. Now, at day's end, I'm ready for sound sleep, because God has put my life back together.
Amen.
3 comments:
Wonderful, Hillary. Simply a message I need to hear. :0) You, by the way, are a great mom from my point of view. :0)
I'm laughing because before jumping on FB today, I was actually looking at the Mattell site and thinking about what toys I should buy the girls for Christmas.
I have a room of no return as well. It's called the basement. My plan is to deal with stuff this summer. I feel anxiety when I go down there. I don't know what to do with all the stuff. I'm thinking a garage sale is in order, an ebay business for future income, and a salvation army box. That should help. On the other hand, I have "barns to over-flowing" which means I've been a good giver and I've reaped a lot. Maybe storing this stuff is "just in case" there's a famine in the land and someone will want it. BTW, My friend Meghan who is pregnant with a girl is taking donations of gently used clothing. Please keep that in mind as you're sorting clothes and stuff to give away. Thanks.
Robbie, thank you. :-) I'm a great mom because God is good to me. He gave me great children.
Grammy, we are so alike. After sorting and clearing all day Saturday I went online and spent a gift certificate I had for Fat Brain Toys on new things for the girls. My justification - "I made some room!" LOL. I totally know what you mean about the stuff anxiety. And I agree, your barns are overflowing; you have always been a good giver. :-)
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