Did I Mention?!

It was a beautiful - and I mean beautiful - late summer day today. 

Last week I worked at church every day but Thursday, getting ready for Kids Clubs to start on Wednesday night and for our new year of Bible Study Hour classes to start this Sunday. 

This was the second week of - new, 5-full-day - school for my girls. We might be getting used to our new teachers/buildings/friends/rules/routines after two weeks, but we're all exhausted. 

I got a head cold Thursday... today's been the worst day of it. I really just need sleep, but who has time for that? 

We are living hand-to-mouth right now. Really, literally. 

Our dryer is broken and I haven't had time to go to the laundromat or to get the dryer fixed. I am just about out of clean clothes. 

After the last two weeks we've just had - good, but hard - I almost backed out of the commitment I had made for today. I mean, I'm sick, right? I have no clean clothes. I don't have extra gas money, and this commitment is 20 minutes away each way, and gas was $4.09 this week. We haven't picked up the house or vacuumed since before school started. I was up late last night, and would have to be up early this morning. I am running on fumes. All legitimate reasons for a mom to beg off an optional early-morning start/almost all day Saturday commitment. 

But I didn't beg off. And it about wrecked me. 

Here's the story:

I have a mentor - someone whom I meet with on a regular basis to walk through/talk through life with. I sought this relationship out when I began working in ministry, wanting the accountability and companionship I knew I would need as a servant-leader, and wouldn't get unless I was intentional about it. So my mentor/accountability partner and I have been in an active friendship for awhile, and I was thinking a few weeks ago about how much I thank the living God for this person in my life. I have grown so much and needed this so much - my mentor is a GODSEND. So I prayed, spontaneously, thanking God for my mentor, and thinking that it would be cool to be able to pass along this gift she has been to me to someone else who needs a mentor, someday. Then I moved on to the next thing, only to revisit this brief interlude with God a day or two later when an email titled "Mentors" landed in my inbox. It was from our pastor, and it said this:

I was contacted by Barnabas Ministries... regarding the need for mentors for four children in the... area.  These kids need an adult to share their faith with them and who would be willing to hang out with them for 2hrs/week for the next year.

Here are the descriptions of these four kids who need an adult in their life who cares about them...

Of course this gave me pause. I thought I was probably over-committed and wouldn't be able to do this, even if I wanted to, but the timing of it was more than coincidental so I responded anyway, and a few days later someone from Barnabas Ministries called me. 

Asked me if I was indeed interested in mentoring a local, at-risk teenager. 

Um, yes?

Would you be able to come to a training meeting at our offices on September 15th?

Uh... maybe... I think so...

Great! Can we email you more information? 

Sure...? 

So. Fast forward 10 days, and here we are. To the end of two weeks of hard life and hard work. I'm tired. I'm sick. My home needs me. My family, probably, needs me. Did I mention we're out of spendable money? Did I mention I'm out of spendable time? Did I mention is was a beautiful day outside? Or that I've been sick? Or that I haven't slept in on a weekend in AGES? Did I mention I work at a church? Did I mention I also volunteer at BOTH my kids' schools in addition to the work I do with kids at church? Did I mention I have a laundry list of valid excuses as to why I should not be going to this thing this weekend or committing to mentoring a teenager (!) who likely has so much drama in their lives they make Reality TV look normal? 

Did I mention? 

But I went. 

Lord, have mercy, I am so glad I did. And Lord, have mercy, I am so appalled because I go to a church with 400+ adults in weekly attendance, and that "Mentors" email went out to the WHOLE CHURCH, and I was THE ONLY ONE FROM MY WHOLE CHURCH WHO WENT TODAY. 

I had every reason in the book not to go. Every good and valid excuse - except lack of childcare, thank my blessed Husband - for why I could not do this, at least, not right now. Not this Saturday. And for some strange reason I was convinced in my head that someone else I knew would be there too, and I would have someone to say "Hey!" to when I walked in, and someone "from home" to sit next to. 

Someone who read these emailed descriptions of the at-risk kids in our area waiting for an adult to help them, and who thought, like I, I might be able to help, if only by the grace of God... 

Amy, 12, is artistic, funny, enjoys playing in the band, drawing anime. She’s really intrigued with Japanese culture. She needs someone to talk to and get her out of the house.

Justin, 17, is active and enjoys martial arts, Hockey, and Boxing. He is also artistic and enjoys drawing. He needs someone who is outgoing and willing to try anything.

Kimberly, 17, She is adventurous and outdoorsy. She’s really active and truly loves Hockey. She wants to be a Veterinarian assistant. She’s looking for a real friend to talk to.

Andrew, 12, athletic, and loves baseball, swimming and animals. He is a young kid who wants a good Christian Mentor who knows how to live out his faith. He wants to get out of the house to do stuff. 

Do you know what I learned today? An "at-risk" kid is someone who has 1 - 4 of the following life circumstances happening: 

Below poverty level

Parental divorce or marital problems

Minority

Loss of a parent

Drug/Alcohol involvement

Sexually active

Depression

Abuse/Neglect

Disorders

A young mother

Struggling in school

Trauma

Homelessness

Death in the family

Where they live

Incarcerated family member

Bullying

Gang involvement

Few jobs available in community

Poor parental supervision

Poorly functioning school system

Based on that list, I WAS AN AT-RISK KID. I'm pretty sure we were poor. We didn't live in a great neighborhood. Then, my dad died. Then, two of my grandparents died. I had depression as a teenager, and an eating disorder as a young adult. Did I mention, I also HAD Jesus, I HAD good friends, and I HAD a home and a family who loved me??! Yet I was still at-risk. We are all a split second away from being at-risk. All our kids are a split second away from being at-risk and needing a mentor in a big way. 

One of the exercises we did in training today was to think back on our own lives and write down people who have mentored us from childhood until now. As I wrote, I had not only my current mentor, but many people on my list who, whether formally or informally, mentored me during the difficult teen years following my dad's death. Friends from church, teachers and administrators at school, youth pastors, parents of friends - people mentored me. Lots of people mentored me. And I made it. I'm ok. 

But really, truly, only by the grace of God, and his provision of Godly, selfless people in my life to help me, listen to me, be there for me, challenge me, hold me accountable to a higher standard, and unravel lies thrown my way... people to simply mentor me. 

I can't believe I'm the only one who went today. 

On the other hand, I can believe I'm the only one who went today. 

Because I get it. I've been there. And maybe until you've been there, you don't get it. You don't see the need for it or you don't feel the urgency on the inside to give back what's been so generously given to you - rescue, salvation, life! - Maybe until you've been to the brink and back you don't realize how easy it is to get there - not even by your own volition - and how necessary it is for someone to come along and lovingly, sacrificially, relentlessly, intentionally... show you mercy and pull you back to safety. To redemption. 

Jesus did it for us. Then he said "You go, and do likewise." Luke 10:37 ESV

Maybe God is ok with things like getting caught up on laundry. Or sleeping in on a Saturday. Or picking up and vacuuming... Or... Or whatever. There is certainly a time for all this and a necessity for these good things. But I think God is also more than ok with saying - for today - I'm going to trust God to meet my pitiful needs and instead of focusing on the little picture of me I'm going to answer this pull in my heart and see what HE might have for me to do that is outside of my own needs and wants, outside of my comfort zone, outside of what I think I CAN MANAGE. Something that is part of His much bigger picture. Something that requires faith in Him that he'll come through. 'Cause he said he would, if we'd trust him.

If you're upset with me right now, that's ok, because I learned enough in a few hours today to be upset too.  This is the real deal, people. This is being the hands and feet of Jesus. This is love with skin on. This is missional. This is Growing in grace, walking in truth, serving in love... for heaven's sake!

Oh, we talk the talk all right. It sounds downright stupid, too, and believe me - even the least at-risk kid out there would be able to see right through all our silly talk in less time than it takes to text CYA, unless we back it up with proof. Unless we ARE the real deal. 

An at-risk kid is not going to walk through the doors of our church to attend Sunday morning worship services and Bible Study Hour. They are not going to come to clubs or youth group or a bible study. Hello. And even if they do come, they are not going to understand the language we speak. 

Unless someone walks through it - with them - together. Hand in hand. 

That someone is me. It should be US. Our salvation cost too much, and we have a message worth more than gold - why - WHY? - are we not sharing it with everyone in need, with everything we've got?!

Laundry can wait for today. 

P.S. Barnabas Ministries holds training sessions monthly. There is an ongoing need for mentors. You can still get involved. And if you don't get involved here, I pray you are involved somewhere outside of your own little world.

P.P.S. While in meetings today, I got a voicemail from someone saying they had some money ready for me that I could stop by and pick up any time. There's our groceries for next week. God meets needs. 

P.P.P.S. Did I mention? I got a power nap in this afternoon. We had a lovely family dinner tonight. We picked up the house, and even the girls helped without complaint. We swept and vacuumed, took out the trash. We did dishes. We started the laundry. We had family time. The girls each fell asleep with my arms around them. I had time to write this post before bed. God met every single need I thought I had to accomplish for this day. He is SO faithful, and so worthy... Amen and amen.