Learning Curve

At our church we have one main Sunday morning service at 9:30am, and then at 11:00am we have a Sunday school time that we call Bible Study Hour, or BSH for short. We are a medium - large sized church, not a mega-church by any means, but larger than 500 people. Being that we only have one morning service, it's hard to feel like a part of a family if all you do is come to the worship service, because you can go for months without seeing someone you know twice in the sea of faces. We've been attending for almost two years and we still have people ask us if we're new, and that's with me being on staff and everything!

So at our church, the best way to find your niche is to regularly attend a BSH class, not just morning worship. These are smaller groups that you can actually be involved in, get to know people by name, pray for each other, learn together, that sort of thing. When we first started attending, we went to the BSH class led by the associate pastor. The topic of the class was sanctification. We loved that class - we learned so much we needed to know, and enjoyed the personality and teaching style of the leader. That class was really what we came to church for, in the beginning. It was good. We even shared Thanksgiving Day with that pastor and his family last year, and made good friends in that class, and had a big Christmas party all together... it was like our group, our BFF's, our clan. God used that class to bring us into right and close relationship with Him. I know I was inspired and challenged each week to grow in my walk with Christ through that BSH class.

But last winter that pastor felt God's call on his life to start a new church, and so with no notice to the congregation he left our church to pastor his own. I wish I could say I supported him in this, but all I can say is that I trust God's plan much more than I trust man's plan. One thing I have learned more than once - Don't idolize any church, or any leader, or any class or method of doing things. Don't make any of it more important to you than God is. God gives and God takes away - God alone never changes.

We were right in the middle of applying for membership at our church when this pastor and his family - our BSH teacher - left the church. We had to make a tough call. Do we stick with this church because this is where we feel God has brought us, even though this particular leader we admire and, yes, idolize is leaving? Is God enough for us or do we need a particular kind of teacher to feel like we belong here? Are we following God, or are we following man?

Sometimes following God means leaving your preferred thing behind. Like your preferred church. Or your preferred pastor, or teacher, or BSH class... or your preferred method of worship, or public service or whatever... God has and will often call you to go somewhere where all you have is Him, because He wants all of you.

We turned in our membership forms that same week our pastor left.

I wish I could say it has been blissfully easy, but it hasn't been. All summer long we floundered without a Bible Study group to call our own. In this midst of all of this I was actually hired for a leadership position at our church, which is another story for another day, but during all this I'm crying out to God going "WHY do you have us here?! WHAT is in this for us?! We are not learning anything! We are not fitting in anywhere! We are not growing in our walks with You! This really sucks, God. This really sucks."

You know what God said back to me? He said "This is not about you, Hilary. It's just not about you."

Do I trust God enough to lead me through a path where the final outcome has nothing to do with me? How often do we think everything in our lives must directly impact US or it's not worth it? Obviously I am guilty of thinking this way.

One thing I have learned from being on staff at a church is this: during the week, when we who work there are in the building, it is very obviously just a building with a few people in it who work there. It feels no different than working in the mall, or a school, or a bookstore or an office. It's just a building. But on Sundays, oh, it's a totally different feeling. For us who work there, it's a feeling of passion, of purpose, of fulfillment and excitement. It's a feeling of destiny.

Why?

It's the people.

It's the people who come to the building on Sundays to worship God and fellowship with each other... this is what The Church really is. It's not a way of doing things, a particular preacher or worship style... it's not a philosophy of public service or which BSH class you attend. Church is the people - the children of God, redeemed in Christ, who live for Him.

This is why God has brought us to this church, at this time. Not for the programs, or the classes, or the pastors. He's brought us here to be a part of this group of people. For them, not for us.

Not because we don't need anything - oh, that is very far from the truth - we need so much! But God wants our focus to be on Him, not on our own needs or wants, or which person can meet those needs. He wants to drive home the thing He's been driving home to humanity since the Garden of Eden: I AM enough for you. You do not need anything but Me.

It's very simple, really. God calls us to pour out our lives for Him, and then He pours Himself in and fills us up again. How many times have I seen God work in this way?! He has never failed me. He has always been faithful to me. His ways are so different than my own. When I am feeling weak and empty, my natural response would be to say "no more, I am done", but God would have me say "I can give more." And when I do, the fulfillment that come from that is more energizing than months of good BSH teaching.

It all boils down to this: Love God, love each other.

Not, love God and love yourself. Or love what God can do for you. Or love your church and love each other. No.

Love God.

Love each other.

There is no "I" in any of that.

But in reality? "I" have never been happier, or more settled in who "I" am and who God wants me to be, than when I am fully poured out for Him. Think about how happy life is and how easy things are when your children trust you implicitly to be in charge and make the right decisions for their little lives - to bless them, feed them, take care of them - and so they don't argue with you, they just follow you and trust you and life is good for everyone. (What? Your kids don't do that? Mine either.) God is a good Father - He knows what we need to grow and thrive and enjoy life. I may not always understand what I need and how I'm going to grow without a certain church or BSH class or whatever, but God knows. God knows what I need. He's good at things like omniscience and sovereignty, after all. I can trust Him.

You can to, you know.