The Way God Does Things...

Through a dear friend's Facebook post, I was reminded last night of a time in my life when God did some extraordinary things. When God allowed ME to do some extraordinary things. It's good to remember. God has always been powerfully present in my life - even in times when I can't see what's really going on - God is working. His purposes always stand. And his heart towards me is good!

Here's the story: 

I was 19 years old, and I was home from a year away at bible school. Kind of at loose ends. For that summer, I had been working downtown at the same job I had worked at in high school. My older sister was getting married in August, and I had planned to work for Claudia, my old boss, through the summer to earn money to help my sister and her new husband set up housekeeping. This job was not a career job for sure - I knew it was a temporary thing, but I didn't know exactly what to do next, either. I had a list of things I wanted to try, things I thought I might enjoy doing, before I settled on a "career path"... most of all, I wanted to help people in need. I wanted to be a nanny. I wanted to work with the elderly. For fun, I wanted to work in a card shop, and I wanted to work at a school. I had already worked at a parochial elementary while I was at bible school, so that one was off the list. What was next? 

Mr. and Mrs. Nathan Jarrell, and me as Maid of Honor

Molly and Nate got married August 7, 1999. The following week when I went in to work I began to feel very strongly that I needed to give Claudia my notice. THAT DAY. I didn't have another job lined up. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I was 19, living at home, shy and very naive. But one thing I did know - it was time to quit my job. 

So I did. I gave Claudia my notice, and she was gracious about it but a little upset, because she really did need me. She was a friend, so it was hard to disappoint her. Especially when I didn't have a good reason for quitting other than "God told me to." For most people, that is not a good enough reason. :-)

Anyway, later that afternoon, I was at home. I remember laying on my sister's bed, crying, and talking to my mom... trying to figure out in that not-quite-a-teenager/not-quite-an-adult way what on earth was going on with my life. I really did feel like my world was falling apart and I was making a very serious mistake to quit my little job when I didn't have another job lined up. Or any plans for the future at all. It was scary! 

Then the phone rang. Really. I was still laying on the bed, red-faced from crying. 

It was my friend Nikki. Nikki said something like this: 

Hi, Hilary? It's Nikki. Hey, a friend of mine from Horizon got in a really bad car accident a few weeks ago - yeah, she almost died, it was really bad. Anyway, she has two little kids, Jake and Riley - they're like, 2 and 4, and she and her husband are in the middle of moving back to San Diego... she's getting out of the hospital soon but will need to be in therapy for a while, and she can't walk yet or take care of the kids or anything... and they're looking for a nanny to move in with them and help out. I thought you might be interested?

The very day I did what I thought made no sense, but what I felt like God was pressing me to do... quit my happy little job... AFTER I had done it, he answered with a desire of my heart and the next step in his plan. I had wanted to be a nanny. I had wanted to help people in need. And here it was. 

I went to the hospital to "interview" with Curt and Lori. It's a little strange to interview for a job with someone who is in a hospital gown and has both legs in traction. :-) I was so nervous. But whatever Curt and Lori were looking for I guess they saw in me, because a short time later I packed up my meager belongings and moved into the Scanlan's house to take care of their family. 

Looking back, it just makes me laugh. I had no idea what I was doing... but somehow, by the grace of God, we made it work. The first morning after I moved in, Curt left early for work and it was just me and two little kids I barely knew, one still in diapers. Somehow I was supposed to get them ready and off to daycare. Then I was supposed to start unpacking the house - they had just moved back from Utah, and nothing was unpacked yet - their whole lives were in chaos, upended by the tragedy of Lori's near-fatal accident. I distinctly remember scrounging in the kitchen that first morning for something to pack in the kids' lunches - kids I hardly knew yet, didn't even know what they would eat, in a kitchen that wasn't unpacked and I was totally unfamiliar with... and then driving two littles that were not mine, in a vehicle that I had never driven before, to meet teachers whom I did not know and who did not know me, to drop off littles that were not mine, to unpack a house that was not mine, all for a lady I did not know who was still in the hospital. It was a blur!!!!! 

I did a million things wrong. But I did a million things right, too. Jake and Riley were clean. They were dressed, they were fed. And as happy as they could be, given the upheaval their little lives were experiencing. Somehow, we managed. Curt would come home from working all day managing road construction, exhausted, and pack the kids up and take them to see Lori in the hospital. I don't remember what all else I did... laundry, maybe. Grocery shopping. Dishes. Sleep. :-)

And then, after a time, Lori was released from the hospital and came home in a wheelchair. We had a ramp built so she could get in and out of the house. She had a hospital bed set up in the living room and a big boot on one leg. I had to learn how to use a gait belt and a transfer board, and how to help her in and out of bed, wheelchair, toilet, shower, car, etc. I also had to learn how to change wound dressings and empty commodes, and how to help someone in a wheelchair and with a broken wrist get dressed, wash face, brush hair and teeth. I had to learn how to get over myself really fast. I had to learn how to help people - I mean, really help people. 

Lori had a million fun girlfriends from church, and they all came over to help with the cooking and cleaning and unpacking and moving-in and picture hanging and moral supporting once Lori was home. I was at a point in my life where I didn't trust church people, but Lori's church people were good people, and they helped me.  Lori was strong - super strong. And super fun. We had daily appointments with doctors and physical therapists. We made daily trips through the coffee-shop drive through. We went shopping often - I would push the wheelchair and Lori would cheerfully spend all of Curt's money. :-) We talked about my boyfriend. We talked about the kids. We went to bible study together. We talked about God.

The kids were early risers, and in the mornings Lori and the kids would snuggle on the couch and watch the morning news show while I would make coffee and breakfast. Lori was the one whom I credit with helping me get addicted to strong, black coffee! And then I'd get the kids ready and off to school, and we'd be off for another day of appointments and errands. Then in the afternoons the kids would play, and I would make dinner for the family... I remember one of the questions they asked me when they interviewed me was if I could cook or not. Thank God and thank my mom, I could cook. (Although I do remember several meals that were colossal failures!) And then, as a family, we would all sit down to dinner together. Thanking God for life and for each other. 

Riley, Me, Nicole, Lori, Curt and Jake - Christmas, 1999

In spite of the difficulties, it was a fun time. I learned so much. I grew so much. I went from being mostly shy and naive to being more capable and unafraid. Lori was what I needed in many, many ways, and I was what Lori needed in many, many ways. The kids and I grew close in the way kids and young adults grow close. Little Jakey would come crawl into my bed early in the mornings sometimes, which made me feel like a million bucks, except for the fact that he snored. :-) The Scanlan's were my surrogate family. Living with them and helping to take care of them prepared me for my next step into the real world. It didn't take all that long, either, for Lori to recover, to be able to walk again, to drive again, and to take over care of her family again. God was so faithful. 

Last night Lori posted on Facebook about it being the 13th anniversary of the day of her accident. 13 years ago, she was hit head on by a driver under the influence of drugs. The impact was at 80 miles an hour. She suffered multiple injuries, including a crushed foot, a broken femur, a broken pelvis and both hips fractured. She also had a crushed wrist and the airbag ruptured her heart. She should have died. If she had died, she would have been immediately in the presence of Jesus.

But Jesus was with her, and God was in control. He had a different plan. As horrific as that accident was, as painful as it was, as difficult as it was for everyone involved, it was for his glory. God was taking care of Lori. 

And in the process of taking care of Lori, God took care of me. He knew what Lori needed, and he knew what I needed - we needed each other, in the context of this tragedy, so we could grow. 

Lori is doing fine now. The kids are almost grown, and they are beautiful kids. I have grown up, gotten married, and had kids of my own. I've done a lot more things since I was their nanny and helper. I've done everything on my list, and a few things on God's list, too. 

I know I can trust God. His plan might not make sense. It might not be easy. It may involve a lot of pain - healing pain, growing pain - but God's plan is right and good. Always. I'm so thankful for the reminder that he is, and always will be, in control.